


"Screw it all"

by YASSDENSWH



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Mind Fuck, Series Spoilers, canon is the worst part of this, fuck it ALLLLL, its just short so yeah of course this would, not reas;ly mind fuck but whatever, quick build, spoilers????, time skip, you know its bad just read these tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-08
Packaged: 2018-01-18 08:18:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1421188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YASSDENSWH/pseuds/YASSDENSWH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>-"Ive watched you from afar. I've admired you for all this time. Probably from the first sight, i just knew. I just knew, that'd itd end up like this. You never noticed me. It should have stayed that way. Now, i'm stuck. Fuck." -</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wait WHUUUT

**Author's Note:**

> ahhaha... aha...hahahah..  
> HAhahajJSAHSHSJMUAHAHSAHHAH  
> *Someone calls police and arrests me*  
> proceed to throw me in an asylum KAY??  
> 8))))))  
> ehehehehohohohoheoeheh  
> NO
> 
> I DONT GIVE A FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!~  
> The narrative done here is somewhat awkward, i know.
> 
> This needs an explanation. But im not the one to ask.
> 
> If this reads strangely, just think of this as a journal entry/ memory or something? I don't know.

**_Eren:_ **

 

Ive watched you from afar. I've admired you for all this time. Probably from the first sight, i just knew. I just knew, that'd itd end up like this. You never noticed me. It should have stayed that way. Now, i'm stuck. Fuck.

\- -

This all started because you just had to come into my life. You just had to show up and steal my heart like that. I hadn't even asked for it , you fucking jerk.

With that cool, stoic expression. That smooth, sultry voice of yours. Your stupid way of holding a cup, like who the fuck taught you to do that? Who said that was okay? The way you have trouble reaching things because you're short as hell and go on your tippy toes all the time because you probably have your pride, so you don't ask for help. And don't even get me started with your freakish eyes. Those damn gun metal eyes that would turn different shades of blue in the rays of sunlight that seemed to shine brighter, just for you.

you're just "Mr.perfect". That "Bad-ass shorty". Or "Humanity's best/strongest". Honestly, it's like you can do anything. Just something sent to us from the heavens. I refuse to believe you are human. I just can't.

But then you go and prove me wrong. When you went out of your way to save some girl and pushed her so she wouldn't get hit by a speeding car. You twisted your ankle doing that. You _actually_ got hurt.  You aren't some stone god. You're not a god at all. You're human after all. But that fact only made me fall even harder for you. Just a guy with perfect imperfections.

So here i am now, watching you handle all these students with ease like the awesome class president you are. All i can really do is watch from afar. Especially since you aren't in any of my classes. That really sucks. Why does life have to be this way?

Its not even easy to watch you. I have to go near your classroom doors to sneak peeks at you through the small window, and that isn't fun. I get in trouble for getting caught doing that more times than I've bothered to count. This lack of actual interaction has lead to me only knowing your first name, "Levi".

Ah, yes. "Levi." Has a very nice ring to it. I'm going to assume its french or something because _Damn._ You also have an accent that sounds pretty french. Despite all my "Digging", this is all of the background info i'm able to muster. You're really mysterious. It's like you're dying for someone to go and steal all your secrets. I'd be willing to try. And try i shall.

I'm doing this because I've decided i don't want to just watch you from afar anymore. It's been over a year and i'm quite certain we haven't exchanged even the briefest of words. I'm going to have to go out of my way, get out of this comfort zone I've made up for myself, and talk to you. I can't just sit around. I really do hope you forgive me for possibly being presumptuous.

So i wait for lunch time to come around. I know enough to be aware that'll you'll be flooded with requests for people to join you for lunch,but you'll deny them and sneak up to the roof. Once that happened, i just kept my distance and followed you up. I had no idea you could pick locks. That's pretty cool.

You don't eat much i guess. Or is getting food a hassle for you? I hardly believe someone with your physique only eats some bread and juice. You're just begging for me to share my food with you or something,but i won't do that just yet. It can't be known that I've followed you here on purpose. So i wait it out a little before i decide it was safe to casually make my presence known.

 "Hey." i say nonchalantly.

I hope I hadn't surprised you too bad. I thought you were going to choke on your bread. Your expression is absolutely priceless. As excited as i am, I gotta keep my cool like you always do.

Sure enough you had regained yourself. You just looked back at me with that calm expression of yours. But what was this? was there a hint of interest? This was going better than i had thought it would.

"Hey."

"So." I began. "You come up here often?" I asked, already aware of the answer. I wouldn't be up here if I weren't sure.

"Just during lunch." You replied simply. You were using that smooth voice again. Only this time, it was just for me.

"Cool. I come here every now and then." i fibbed.

"Ah. That explains why i haven't seen you up here. And here i thought no one else came up to the roof."

I chuckled.

"No one does. Just us two, i can assure you. We're pretty much safe."

You just hummed in agreement. God damn it, your voice is fucking perfect. I don't know how i managed it, but i actually kept a constant conversation going. I even ended up sharing half my lunch with you and you hadn't seemed to notice. Things were going beyond my expectations and they would only get better. At least that's what i thought.

-

Meeting you on the roof at lunch became a routine for me. We were both mutually content with each other's presence instead of a group of people. The more i hung out with you, the more i was able to piece together. Eventually, all of those exchanges of words and stories became exchanges of kisses and intimate touches. We were basically dating before i even had time to fully process it.

I was still in denial. I was worried this was a dream and i would wake up at any moment. But when i never woke up in the middle of the night flooded with disappointment, i learned to accept the truth of reality and embraced it. Or embraced you rather because **holy shit** you were my _boyfriend!_ I could tap that! The embodiment of perfection was mine! If that wasn't a hell of an accomplishment, i don't know what is.

I started to meet up with you outside of school as well. I spent more time out in the town or at your place rather than my own home. It just put me in a better mode. And apparently, people noticed.

Armin noticed first, or at least said something about it before anyone else pointed it out. But no one would ever know how much you affected me like Mikasa did. She actually lived with me, so it was only natural. Especially since she was protective of me and always kept tabs. It wasn't long before she actually confronted me about it.

"You seem really happy lately." She said. "You're not walking around with that angry face of yours all the time. Even jean hardly seems to get to you nowadays. What's up?"

Well, i had to tell her about this at some point. It wasn't exactly known that i was dating the class president. She wasn't in my school either, so she didn't even know who he was.

"Well." i started, not sure how to tell her. I didn't want her to freak out for not telling her about you in the first place. "I.. uh."

She raised a brow and gave me a questioning look.

"Go on. Out with it, Eren."

I sighed.

"Okay, don't freak out or anything but." I paused. "I have a boyfriend."

There was a moment of silence before she spoke up again.

"Oh. Well." She said simply. "I had no idea. That's nice i guess."

Surprisingly she didn't blow up at me. It was going pretty well.

"Your.. not mad?"

She only shook her head at me.

"No. Whoever he is, he seems to be treating you right. Anyone that can make you happy all the time instead of angry must be a good guy."

I blinked, still mildly shocked.

"Oh. okay then."

"But i would like to meet him." She added. "I want to know who managed to tame this cranky titan." She poked my forehead.

"Hey!" I tried to sound insulted, but my tone was betrayed by the laughter that escaped my lips.

"It's a deal!" 

She smiled at me and all i could do was grin.

-

The day came when you two would meet. I had told you of our rendezvous we agreed upon and there you'd meet her properly. The way this all went to shit was rather dumb. It was probably the stupidest way to fuck everything up. It was all on me. But i had no idea what would happen that day, so i unknowingly brought Mikasa along with me to introduce you both.

We all agreed to meet in front of a cafe close enough to our homes that everyone knew well. If you lived in this town, you had to have gone in there at least once.

"Oi! Eren!" You waved at me from a bench near the cafe building.

I waved back to signify i had spotted you and tugged Mikasa along eagerly. My eagerness must have been infectious because by the time we were all together, it was all smiles.

"Hello." Mikasa greeted. "You must be Eren's precious boyfriend. You've done a good job at keeping him in line."

You simply chuckled at her comment while i pouted slightly at her teasing.

"Yes, i am. Thank you, i think."

"Anyway!" I chimed in. "I think it's about time you introduce yourselves."

I gestured towards Mikasa then to you.

"older, half-Sister, meet boyfriend." i said. "Boyfriend, meet older, half-sister."

I watched as you both shook hands.

"Pleasure to meet you. My name is Mikasa."

You nodded at her, letting her image sink in. I would have left it at this, had i only known everything was going to become fucked up.

"The Pleasure is all mine, Mikasa. I'm Levi. Levi Ackerman."

Both Mikasa's smile and mine were gone. Time stopped. We both froze. Of course everything couldn't be great like i thought it was. There always has to be something to mess things up. Why hadn't i asked about his surname sooner? I'm so incredibly stupid.

"Huh? Is something wrong?"

"Did you say "Ackerman'?"

"Yes. Levi Ackerman. Why?"

Mikasa pulled her hand back.

"But... I'm Ackerman."

"....oh."

Damn it. Fucking half siblings, man.

\- - -

 


	2. outcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two Ackermans. One aftermath.
> 
> All insanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i know.  
> this isn't my fault.  
> You know who to blame.  
> I want answers too.

_**Eren:** _

 

 

Complete silence loomed over us. None of us spoke a word. This was all maddening. What am i even supposed to do? I don't have the first clue.

This silence is driving me crazy. I'm going to go insane. Even though i was angry, confused, upset and so on, i smiled. Then my smiled formed into a large grin. And then, I laughed. I laughed louder than i ever could in my entire life.

With my brain on the brink of exploding- not being able to process this properly- i did the only thing i could do.

Sing.

Just sing my lungs out.

Until my throat bleeds scarlet mist.

[So i sung](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DlZdZYLCfU).

 

_"FUCK IT ALL! FUCK IT ALL! DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE!_

_FUCK IT ALL! FUCK IT ALL! FLIP THAT TABLE, SCREW YOU ALL!_

_I WON'T TAKE THIS BULLSHIT ANYMOOOOOOOOOOORE!_

_I DONT GIVE A FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!~_

_I JUst-_

_no._

_You know what, just-_

_ugh....dont... give a fuck."_

 

And with that, i simply sighed, gave them both a glance and walked off.

I did think about this ,though. Don't think i left just like that. The outburst gave me space to mull the situation over.

 _'I wonder if he's into leather straps.'_ Was all i really thought about.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren still taps that. He doesn't care about anything anymore. 100% done. (click the song link and imagine eren singing that, its real good.)
> 
> sorry Mikasa/Levi shippers. I think.  
> we don't know until next update but yeah this is real. Its canon.  
> You can freak out nowE
> 
> I did this simply to get my feelings out. This almost made me vomit.  
> this could all be a misunderstanding or something but i made this in the mean time.
> 
> That song is my theme right now. It can apply at any time.  
> So click it. Click the link to the song. Its fun. It helped me cope. I need to sleep on this more.  
> -  
> Here's the Tumblr link to that relates to this story/ song (Much better quality than the link in the fic) :  
> http://yassdenswh.tumblr.com/post/82029265174#

**Author's Note:**

> ALL THE NOOOOOOOOOOOPE  
> nope  
> no  
> neigh  
> nein  
> nah
> 
> FUCK IT ALL! FUCK IT ALL! DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE!  
> FCUK IT ALL! FUCK IT ALL!  
> FLIP THAT TABLE, SCREW YOU ALL!
> 
> This will be my theme song for now. For the fandom. This is real.  
> \- -  
> BTW I KNOW this isn't my best work, this is just to get the feels out. Im just typing this as is. So its just a little over "Bullshitting"  
> you can tell by the narration.


End file.
